Ten ways to Ace a Calcutta University exam




Has anyone of us scored very well in a Calcutta University exam? (Coughs on purpose) We all know the answer to that right? After 3 years of tedious exams and brainstorms, I have come to the conclusion that you have to just hope for the best and have a positive attitude no matter how screwed up the exam schedule might be. I hope the following pointers help in your endeavour to glory.


1. Write at least 15 lines on a page. There is a miserable notion that the more you fill the gaps in between the lines, the more lengthy your answer seems. Since we are given non-ruled papers, some students try to take advantage of them. Whoever believes this has clearly no idea that it takes several trees to create pages. Remember Leo’s Oscar speech? Don’t take the available resources for granted.




2. TIE YOUR S.H.E.E.T.S: When that five minutes the remaining bell goes off, you deal with an adrenaline rush to complete a ten marks answer or to just pick up the bench and fling it at the invigilator. The only words that we hear are

‘khata bendhe nao’ 
‘tie your sheets’ 
‘I wont give extra time to tie your sheets’ 
‘sir na ektu daran’ 
‘sir, please ekta line’ 

So it's better to tie those goddamn sheets. Once you tie them, the words become inaudible to you. Even if you have to take extra sheets at the last minute (chances of which happening is really slim) you can still tie it again.

PS: Carry a stapler.


3. Margin: I have noticed examinees draw monstrous margins to make the writing area really short. Do you really think the teachers or Professors are really that stupid not to notice that? They have evaluated like 200-400 answer sheets, of which they have to witness us waste paper in such a gruesome manner. Well, aren’t you sneaky?



4. Handwriting: this is one of the most important aspects of scoring. Since childhood days, we have gone through the monotonous lessons of cursive handwriting and art of making that ‘S’ turn so that it appears like a goddamn Swan. Now it is the time to reap the results. ‘What’s good to the eye, must be better underneath’, said by someone apparently. Clear writing makes good sense anyway.



5. Sir ‘Shiiiit’: The girl sitting next to me was writing at light speed. She asked for a sheet even before the first hour was over. Felt really timid, I must admit. However, I noticed that she kept on writing on her 16-page booklet even though she took a sheet. Was she trying to be superior? Who knows? It's not a race...or is it?



PS: The moment a classmate asks for a sheet before us, we panic. The grief-stricken look in our faces erases all the snippets of our answers from our minds and we stare wide as our future seem blank like the sheet we are writing in.

6. Divide and Conquer: in a paper where the answers are mostly theoretical, we all have to divide our answer writing time into minutes. If you can finish each answer in a given time, you will be able to finish your question paper even before the invigilator screams ‘Tie your sheets’ (it burns my ears, truly).




7. Solve last years papers: we all know that questions get repeated. One or two questions are sometimes given to confuse the students. Otherwise, 80% of the times, the question paper is quite predictable. Don’t you agree?

8.Avoid the Junk: After correcting a tiring amount of papers filled with so many theories of ‘Marxism’, the teacher ought to get feel violated by his own knowledge. If you don’t know a certain answer, write what you know. However, don’t fill it with stories or movie plots.


9. Introduction and Conclusions are necessary. Enough said.





10. Now go sit to study and put your phone away.


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