Letter to My Ex

'If I lose myself,

What will I be left with but your love?

Even when I am not with me

You remain in memories of a golden reality

There are several moments when we find ourselves in a tough spot. Situations become our enemy and time becomes our friend. Our hearts become empty and our minds are filled with illusions of the past. The future becomes bleak and our faces, dull. There are several things that were left unspoken. Several. One of them is ‘Thank you’. My gratitude towards you is not extraordinary, neither it is simple. There were times when I cursed myself that I even met you. Then there were moments when I found out that you were the best thing that happened to me. You were the Reality. I was always surrounded by fairytale and happy endings. Then you came along, with a charming face and all the sugar coating. You taught me love. You gave me hope. However short-lived it was, I was someone’s special. And it was possible because of you.

Fights rarely occurred. Maybe it was because we used to exchange emails instead of talking in person. There were times when I missed you. There were times when I wanted to talk to you. Miracles don't happen. That gave me lesson about reality. And it was possible because of you. I remember the poems you wrote for me. A few lines dedicated and it made my heart leap with joy. However fake it was, I am glad I felt exceptional. And it was possible because of you. We shared a chocolate that day. You stood at the corridor of our classroom and looked at me and smiled. Time had stopped for me. That day I learnt how it felt to be in love. And it was possible because of you.

'I could not be your forever,

But you became my reality'

I cursed you the day you told me that you got back together with your ex. My heart felt nothing. I didn’t feel angry while I cursed you, neither did I feel sad. Your eyes staring back at mine. My caged soul was leaving my body. I laughed at myself for being a simpleton. I realized how I lost a hold of my life trying to be a princess to you. I realized that letting you go was hard, but letting someone in again was harder.

I wonder if I will see you again. But if I do, I will definitely give you a hug in front of your girlfriend and say ‘Thank you for the bittersweet  experience Baby.’